How many people here would confess that you have experienced an episode of what you would consider road rage? You had an irrational exaggerated response to some rather typical driving experience. My brother had an almost unbelievable episode of Road Rage. Seveal years ago now, he is driving along in Lynchburg, VA...
Side Note: you need to wonder the people in a town that names itself "lynch" burg. They might as well have named it "We'll kill you burg." Anyways...
He realizes that his exit is coming up shortly, so he has to get over. Flips on his signal, nobody immediately gives him a spot, in fact, the guy beside him kind of tightens up with the car in front. JP sees a little room to slide in and very quickly pulls into the right lane. It was tight, but he really didn’t cut the guy off. But of course, the guy goes crazy. He’s honking his horn, you can see he’s yelling and screaming. JP takes his exit, the guy takes the exit, JP turns, the guy turns the same way. JP says I think this guys is going to do something crazy here. So JP quickly pulls into a parking lot, slams on the brakes, throws it in park, and jumps out of the car so fast the other guy doesn’t even have time to stop his car. JP is immediately on his car. Slamming his hands down on the hood, screaming at the top of his lungs. At this point the guy has, as you might suspect, a look of absolute horror on his face. That look of, "I thought I was gonna go road rage crazy on this guy, but this guy is at a whole different level of road rage crazy." He pulls off, in real hurry, JP is still jumping up and down like rabid animal. He gets back in the car, smiles, and simple says, just says something like "Hey, I I just figured I’d out crazy him before he ever got a chance to go crazy on me."
Now I can’t say I recommend that at all- as a pastor, or as a driver, or just as a human being. But I have to say that it sure worked to diffuse a situation before it ever really turned into a really bad situation. But let me give you this advice- before you become that guy or that lady who is ready explode, who is ready to fly into a fit or road rage, or worse, a fit of rage and anger unleashed on spouse, your kids, your parents, your friends, before it comes to that, you need to diffuse your situation. You need to deal with your anger before it get outta control. Before it gets you into a situation that you can’t back out of. Before it cause you to say something you can never take back, before you do something that can never be undone. Many lives, countless lives, have been changed forever, because of a fit of anger and rage. Don’t let it get to that point. Don’t wait until its too late to say I have to do something about this issue that lives inside of me. Let this be your wake up call.
Here's the thing- Every one of us had this monster lurking somewhere inside of us. All of us are going to get angry- it's a part of life. The question is, what going to happen with that anger. You’re the lady who if you get cut off in traffic, you are screaming your fool head off- I’ve seen you. I’ve been the instigator of that eruption. I made a bad move driving recently, like all of us have. I cut a lady off, and if she hadn’t been paying attention, I would have caused a wreck. But luckily she was. I did the whole “sorry” look and wave through the window, but I’m telling you, if this lady had been exposed to gamma radiation, she would have gone totally hulk on me. I couldn’t hear her, and I’m no lip reader, but I understood VERY clear who she thought I was and where she thought my head was, which would be impossible, and where she thought I should go to spend eternity, and none of it was very flattering or nice. It was very clear, she did not like me as a human being. She did not have a simple neutral stance towards me. I was worse than a worthless human being. Nothing was too bad for me- no name, no indecent act, no final outcome for my life could have possible been bad enough. All because I made an error while driving.
Maybe you are just way too image conscious and are way too good at image management to do that. Somebody cuts you off in traffic, and you wave, and you says, oh, you be more careful next time. But without really thinking, your mind goes through this little fantasy, and I’m not sure how it plays out in your head, but at the end of the escalations of anger it results in you physically harming or killing that person. You like that show Ally McBeal, the one where she always had these vivid scenes from her mind play out onscreen. You keep that happy face on, or that blank look on you face, but in your head, you have this horribly vivid fantasy life where anybody who makes you mad ends up dying some horrible death. You have actually pictured yourself slamming into them with your car, or even choking them to death. I’m not going to ask anyone to raise their hands or anything, but I know some of you can relate to that extreme sense of anger, I know, because I have experienced it. I have caught myself thinking horrible thoughts, and if I’m to be honest, practically murderous thoughts, because of little things that have made me angry. Thoughts of doing things that far outweigh what has been done to me.
That’s what unchecked anger does. That’s what lurking below the surface. Someone cuts you off, and you want to smash into their car. Someone calls you a name, and you want to choke the life out of them. The response you have in your mind or in reality, far outweighs what has actually been said or done to you. Jesus wants to get at this lurking issue. That HULK living under the surface, is who Jesus wants us to deal with.
Last week I ended with a challenge- read Matthew 5:21-48. Jesus is dealing with 6 issues that effect every single life, every one of us. He deals with anger, lust, divorce, lying, revenge, and enemies. I encouraged you to go where you needed to go this week. To focus on that issue that you need to deal with. I called this deep religion. Religion that cuts to the heart of the issues. Today and next week I want to deal with two of these issues. That’s all I have time for, then we’re on to other things. Today, as you may have guessed, we’re dealing with the guys who lives in us and is ready to smash and even kill if he got play out his little mind-game fantasies.
Let me ready you want Jesus says...
Matthew 5:21-26 21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother[b]will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,[c]' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.
23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
Jesus starts- don’t murder. If you murder someone, you’ll end up before the judge, and things won;t go well for you there. That pretty obvious. Jesus says, let’s go deeper. Don’t be angry with your brother. Doesn’t say you brother isn’t a jerk. Doesn’t say anything about what was done and if anger might or might not be justified. All it says, don’t be angry with your brother.
Let's make this clear as we start- not all anger is wrong. In fact, anger is a normal part of life in our world. Not all anger is wrong. You’ll often hear that not all anger is wrong. The bible teaches us in Ephesians, "in your anger do not sin." More, we know that one of the key characteristics of God in the bible is his wrath- his anger, or wrath, towards evil, wicked, singful things. Ther is muchinteh world that is worng and should make us angry. We can thus be angry about these things and not be in sin.
I beleive the key word here is that little "with." Don;t be angry with your brother. Don't focus your anger at that personal level. That's when relatioshisp start to break down.
COunselors will distinguish between eposodic anger and dispostional anger. There are episodes in life that should anger us. We are angered so that we might respond immediately to do something.
But someone who has an angry dispostion is in a who other category. this the person who is just living with teh seed of anger, bitterness, rage and malice growing within.
If you’re angry with you brother you’ll be subject to judgment. If you say to your brother Raca, you might literally get brought before the judgment council. Anybody here every say RACA to anyone- I haven’t, I think we’re all good. Case closed. Well, not quite. How about idiot, moron, imbecile, numbskull, dolt... Anything insult that basically says, you are a stupid person. Anybody ever say or think anything like that about another person- well, that’s not good Jesus says. But let’s go even deeper yet.
Anyone who says to another person, you fool, is in danger of the fire of hell. Wow, it doesn’t get much worse than that folks. Whether you believe in a heaven and hell, and I personally do, that’s about the worst possible punishment we can imagine or wish upon someone. Jesus pretty much trumps any other punishments here. Call someone a fool, you’re in danger of hell.
Which seems a bit harsh in the way we use the word fool The meaning of fool is a bit deeper, as you may have guessed. In the Old Testament wisdom literature there are numerous warning against the fool. The fool is the one who denies God and basically does everything wrong. If there is a way to screw up, the fool, in the OT, will find it. Thus, it became known as the worst insult, the worst possible thing you could say about another person. To call someone a fool was to show utter and complete contempt for a person. They are not just dumb, they are worthless, vile, reprehensible, contemptible. Fools deny God, they insult God, they mock God, they want nothing to do with God. A fool, wants hell- they want nothing to do with God or to be in a relationship with God. Calling someone a fool is like saying “Go to hell.”
Anger can be OK if it’s a righteous anger. Anger directed at a person is bad.
Insulting a person is even worse.
But getting to that place where you have nothing but contempt for another human being, where we want them to go to hell, that is the worst place to be. In fact, when we wish that for someone, Jesus is saying, we are the ones in real danger. When we are that contemptuous, we are living apart from God, we are in a living hell.
Have you ever meet someone truly, truly, deep down, in the marrow of their bones, angry and contemptuous? They have nothing but rage, anger and contempt? Contempt for school, for work, for family, for the church, for the system, for world, for everyone they meet? Haven’t you got the sense, that the one they might hate the most is actually themselves? they they are in a living hell because they’re anger and contempt has literally driven them from God, from his grace, from his love, from his peace, from his beauty, from all pleasure, from all joy, from all peace, from all that is good and right and noble?
Jesus has harsh words about anger and the one who is steeped in anger because being that person, being in that place, is a living hell. It is an awful place to be. And Jesus doesn't want anyone to be stuck there. And some of you are there. Someone you know is there. Someone you love is that lost in their anger. But there is hope. Jesus is inviting us to go deeper. to go to him, to let him begin to root out the rage, to weed out the anger, to free you from the contempt that drives you away from all that’s good, and to that living hell.
When Jesus deals with two specific instances of anger in this passage, one about worship and the other about clearing a debt, what we see in both is the word IMMEDIATELY. There is a sense of incredible urgency in this issue. You don't put off dealing with this. You do not say, Hey, I’m going to deal with my anger issue later. Right now I’m busy. If don’t deal with this NOW, there may not be a later. This isn’t like saying you know, I always wanted to learn how to play the accordion. I’ll just wait until later, I’m busy now. That’s fine, do the world a favor and keep putting that off indefinitely. But if you have some deep seated anger issues, you deal with this IMMEDIATELY. This is your wake up call.
I had a wake up call about this about a year ago. I’m a pretty in control guy. But I get angry and can lose my cool like anyone. I’ve been known to throw a tool across my garage or to wish that my car might spend an eternity separated from the grace of God in a place of fiery torment. I don’t thing cars actually have an eternal soul which would even make that possible, but still, I’ve thought it when it breaks down. But my wake up call was one day when I was playing with the kids and somehow, I think I started it, but we started doing imitations of each other. I immediately said, I’m mommy, go practice the piano, your daddy is so hot, stuff like that. The kids immediately jump in and start imitating each other and what was so funny is that they were really nailing it, I mean, dead on impersonations of each other. Then my Karis, my sweet sweet Karis who sometimes seems like this strangely old soul in the beautiful little child's body, looks at me, and smiles, and says, hey, I’m daddy- “If you kids don’t stop that right now I’m going to go ballistic.”
We all laughed, because I know I’ve said that when i start to get angry with the kids. But at that moment, i knew, I may not lash out in fits of anger, i may not even say angry hurtful words, but often enough, I find myself getting angry, and in that rising anger, I would say to the kids, I’m going to go ballistic. I feel like I’m going to lose my temper. I feel the top ready to explode.
And that night I said, you know, I still have anger. There’s a monster lurking down there in me, and you know, I don’t even want to be the guy who has that feeling like I could explode in anger. If if I don’t do it, I don;t want to even feel it. I don’t want to be the dad who doesn’t know how to deal with children that misbehave and has to say, I’m going to lose it. Because really, kids will misbehave. They will need discipline, but it’s in those moments of discipline and correction that they need to see that I’m not reacting in anger, but that I’m reacting in love.
Anyways, that’s my deal. That was my wake-up call. I don’t want my kids to see any hint of rage, anger, contempt, losing control. They need more than a dad who says I don’t want to lose my cool. They need a dad who keeps his cool, and does everything out of love and grace. That’s how deep I want to go.
If you have an anger issue and you know the root of it, then you need to go immediately to that root. That’s what Jesus says in his two examples. If it’s about a person, or something a person has done, go to that person now. Like the text says, go before you even come back to worship. Go and do whatever is possible for you to do to make that situation right. Do what you have to do be free from that anger. If you can pinpoint it, that’s great, that’s actually a blessing, because now you can do something about it.
Maybe you can’t go to that person. They passed away or that situation is long over, you can’t go back or get those years back. Go to God, cast your burdens on him, for he cares for you, the bible says. Tell God what happened. Tell God how you were hurt. Or tell God how you messed up. Talk to God about this thing that has grown inside of you that his beastly and ugly and ready to blow. Tell God to take it away. Not even a hint. Free you from that HULK that rages beneath the surface.
Maybe you’re angry today, and you don’t know why exactly. You’re not sure where it comes from. Then you just need to ask God to do some heart surgery. You just need to pray to God to get in there and do his thing.
Last week I called this deep religion. It’s religion that actually gets beyond religion. It’s Jesus telling us and teaching us that relationships are more important than our outward religious expression. Our relationship with God and with people is what really most important. In fact, Jesus goes so deep in this first issue, that he says I don’t really care about your religion if your relationships are all screwed up. If you have a messed up relationship because of something you did, and if you remember in the middle of worship, you should get up, go, and make it right. That was UNBELIEVABLE in Jesus day. Nothing was more important to religious folks than making their offering of worship. Jesus says, something deeper matters more- your relationships matter more. This is deep religion. This is something you have to deal with if we are going to go any deeper into a life that pleases God, a life that God can use.
I want to end by giving you the chance to do something about your anger IMMEDIATELY. We are going to pray. And if you need to pray this, just follow along in your heart. I'll go slow. Go with me. Then go from here and do what you have to do to deal with your anger.
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