Wednesday, February 18, 2009

He's Just That Into You, pt. 1

I have to confess that the one mistake I made early in my marriage (actually, just the one mistake I’ve made in all my marriage) was that I didn’t really get that Valentine’s was an important day. But it wasn’t REALLY my fault. I think I must have created an emotional block from my childhood. I’ve actually never told this to Robin, so she’s about to learn something very dark about my life.

I don’t know if your school did this, I don’t think any school does this anymore, because it has to be one of the worst ideas in the history of education. Our student council did a fundraiser every Valentines where you could, for one dollar, make or break a life, I mean, send someone a white, pink or red carnation. White was friendship. Pink said I have a crush on you. Red was the ultimate- the “I love you” carnation.

Not only did they have this brilliant idea to sell carnations, but they added to the horror by having all the carnations delivered to each homeroom. People were called up to pick up their flowers in front of the class.

So not only did we all have to go through the stress of trying to figure out who we’d send carnations to, and what color we would send, we all knew, we knew that come Valentines day we would all have to sit there, at our desk, waiting for our name to be called, or, sadly, not called. Whoever said there is no prayer in public schools never had to go through this experience, because I’m telling you even the most hard hearted dudes in the school, as tough as they wanted to appear, and much as they were trying to send out their, “This is so stupid” signal to the world, all of them were PRAYING dear God, just let me get one stinking carnation. Even just a white one! I will go to church, I’ll give to the poor, I’ll help the teacher clean the chalk board. Just please, one flower, that’s all I ask for!”

Of course I’m just telling this story to show I sympathized with all the other kids. You know I got like dozen a pink and red carnations every year. It was great- my mom was a teacher so it was easy for her to send me some. (You’d want carnation from my mom too!) But those poor other kids! The humiliation, the embarrassment, the damage to their poor, fragile developing egos and self-esteem. It must have been awful for them!

Anyways, that’s why I had a huge mental block for Valentines when I got married. I actually went on a Rick Mercer style rant about how this is a commercialization of love, pimping out flowers and candy and cards so we can prostitute ourselves for the man’s profit! It’s an abomination. An insult. I will take no part in this made-up holiday to market love, I’m above this. We should be above this! I went on and on. Really.

Robin very calmly let me know- this is a day to celebrate love. And I want to celebrate our love. Then after informing me very clearly about the kind of love I would NOT be receiving for an undetermined period of time, I suddenly had an epiphany- Valentines is a wonderful holiday that I should embrace with arms wide open. And since that time I have had a much happier wife and a much happier marriage.

I’m not sure this holiday has gotten any easier for a lot of people. There are a lot of young men still confused about love. A lot of women still looking for love in all the wrong places. A lot of couples who have lost that loving feeling. A lot of us still longing for our name to be called out, for that one carnation, just that one carnation, to let us know- somebody loves me. Somebody is just that into me.

We all know these, right? The love hearts. They are wonderful. Robin and I have a friend who bought bags and bags of these once, went through and picked our every one that said “Marry Me,” enough to fill a whole jar, and gave them to his girlfriend. In reply she simply handed him one that said “Now Way.” Actually, she said yes. But some these hearts are wonderful- “I love you, only you, my guy, my girl, marry me.” But some of these are brutal. “No way. Try again. Forget about it!” He’s just not that into you.

Some of us feel like year after year no one calls us up for the carnation. Every year your heart gets broken. You are not the one. They just want to be friends. Moreover, we feel we are getting that message from God. We wonder if God really is love, or maybe worse, maybe, we just aren’t loveable. He’s just not that into you.

The greatest lie every perpetuated in our world, is, that we are unlovable. As I talk with folks, as I’ve come to know people, I very rarely meet anyone who says that God is unloving. We have our doubts sometimes, we have our questions. But people seem to have an unshakable faith that God must be love. Not everyone, probably not everyone here. But most people have this sense that God, whoever and whatever he is, and however I might not understand his way, God must be a loving being. What is harder for many people that I know is accepting that we are lovable. That we are made in love, and no matter what we are worthy of love. Something happens to too many people that they stop believing that this is true. And when they stop believing this is true, they begin to cut themselves off from what it means to be human, to be made in the image of a God who is love, to be loved, and to love.

This is the heart of the story of God- God is love, and he loves you. For the next two weeks I simply want to tell you something we all need to hear. Something we all need to know. God loves you. God is just that into you. This is the story of the bible. The story of a God who is love. Of people who are made to be loved.

I want you, tough guy who thinks you don’t need love, I want you, lady who doesn’t think your pretty anymore. You child, who doesn’t seem to know your place in the world anymore, you who thought you’d be married now, but your still waiting, you who thought you’d still be married, but now finds yourself single again, you, dad, who, doesn’t feel like your wife gives you the attention she once did, you mom, who isolated with people all around you, listen to these words from Psalm 139…

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.


As hard as that is for some of us to believe- God is just that into us. Each and every one of you were made by God. You are not an accident. You are not an afterthought. You are not a mistake.

God knows you inside and out- he’s just that into you.
He knows when you rise and sit…
Before you speak a word, he knows your heart…
He goes before you and behind you…
There is nowhere you can go from his presence…
He knit you together in the womb…
He calls you wonderful…
He knows the planned for you…
All the days ordained for you…

This is God’s promise to us:
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
~Zephaniah 3:17


God is with you. God will save you. God delights in you. God will quiet you with his love. God is singing a song over you. Meditate upon this as the band is going to lead us in a song.

This is the song that put Coldplay in the public eye, but I’ve wondered how many have reflected on the words enough to truly pick up the message of this song. A friend of mine last week reminded me of something I had learned ages ago in one of my art classes. Vincent Van Gogh had a deep love of God, but struggled to know God’s love in his own life. He used the color yellow in to create amazing contrast and vivid images. He also used the color yellow to represent the presence of God.

I have to think that Coldplay must have taken an art appreciation course. I know that Coldplay has tapped into the most common human longing of the heart- the longing to love and be loved by God. Here these as the words of a promise God has made to us. Here this as the song of God over you…


Yellow - Coldplay

When Robin and I were dating I worked so hard to learn a song to serenade her. I stood outside her dorm room, threw a rock, and when she opened the window I began to sing. I sang with all my heart and all my ability. I sang to let the world know what she meant to me. I sang to let her know that she was the one for me. She said if I really did love her I would shut up immediately and never, ever try such a stupid thing again.

I have never sung a song for her since, my hopes and dreams of being a rock star dashed on the rocks of love. But God has not stopped singing a song of love over you. And God will never stop singing to you. He is singing out across space and time, trying to get you to open your window, to lean into him, to accept his invitation of love.

Mary Ann Bird, in her memoir entitled “The Whisper Test,” tells the story of growing up with multiple disabilities. Her mind was sharp, maybe sharper than most others even because of her differences. She grew up to be a very successful and influential educator, and she attributed it to one teacher who made all the difference in her life. It came to a crucial time in her life when the opinion and perception of her peers was starting to become more important than that of her family or other adults. But of course, she would never be like her peers. So she stayed close to her favorite teacher, Mrs. Leonard.

This was in the days when very simply the teacher did hearing tests in the homeroom, standing behind a child, and whispering in their ear. The teacher would always try to say something different to each child so that no one could catch on and beat the test. “They would whisper something like, “The sky is blue, or, apples are red.”

It finally came to Mary’s turn. One more humiliation, one more reminder that she was not like the other children. But something happened that day that would change her life forever. 7 words. 7 words was all Mrs. Leonard would say. 7 words that Mary needed to hear. 7 words that we all need to hear, but sadly, seems to be at a frequency that is often out of our range. But I want to tell you it is within range this morning. I want to tell it is what God is whisper to each and every one of us.

Mrs. Leonard leaned to Mary’s good ear and whispered to her, “I wish you were my little girl.”

Friends, I want to whisper in your ear this today, the Lord is with you. He is mighty to save. He will quiet you with his love. He will sing a song over you. And the song he is singing tells us, you are my little girl. You are my boy. You are my child. Look at the stars. I made them shine for you.

Each of you should have been given a Valentine this morning. It’s a love note from God. It really is. Our volunteers wrote them out, but the words come from God, because they are from his word to us. We don’t want anyone here to say this Valentines no body said they loved me. Nobody sent me note. This Valentines we want everyone one of you to know that God loves you. That God is just that into you.

Next week we are going to have a service that I already think might be the most powerful service we’ve ever had at Connections. We are going to share more of this story of how much God is really into you. Because what he did for you is almost, almost, too good to be true. Almost to good to believe. But it is what God did for us, and what God offers us, because he’s just that into us,

Let’s pray…

____

Yellow, by Coldplay

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry

Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you

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